You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
