God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
