Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
