I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
