We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
