he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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