u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
