can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
