dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
