You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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