i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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