shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You left your phone here
Wait...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
