which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
