Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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