Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
