Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
