matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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