you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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