his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize