craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
