I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize