yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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