We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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