I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize