Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize