...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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