The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
