I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
