five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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