You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
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Do I have a choice?
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I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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