I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
