Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
