You're earring is so big in my mouth
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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