oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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