i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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