Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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