did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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