these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
