Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Someone shattered a urinal.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
this is an emotional support booty call
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize