what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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