If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
cat food counts as protein by the way
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
