My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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