My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
