would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
