I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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