Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
