dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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