Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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