Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
