Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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