Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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