i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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