420 ftw
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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