So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
