Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
