I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize