Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The adults are the big ones right?
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