I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My pussy is not your playground.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Found the puke drawer
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
