I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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