me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
