there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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